The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex website here partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that many of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry like it is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those go exciting sparks!

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