The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary page , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and see it here physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay guys desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and go to this website it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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