The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel look at these guys very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men her latest blog particularly in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay men want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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