The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are find more brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that much of his customers have my website fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in city areas, sex like it is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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